This is the first story I ever wrote, must be circa 1994. My daughter thinks it paints me as a hallucinating, freaky, weird, schizophrenic with tinnitus. I think I want to agree.

My imaginary friend and I.

---starts---

 The great structure of stony walls stood derelict in the wilderness. There was no other building for miles around. It seemed as if the lonely mansion was standing there in the scorching sun to make up for the fallacy of all those who left the place in some apprehension. Proving to them without calling out loudly that it survived. Reassuring them that they would also survive if only they had as much faith. Yearning silently that its emptiness may soon be filled with its loved ones.

We pushed the large wooden gate open. It creaked slightly as if it was announcing our entry to all the other parts of the structure in secret code – their own cryptic way of communication. The gate hit the stone wall with what sounded like an explosion in the age old silence, and sent a few sparrows flying from the large tree that overshadowed a part of the courtyard within.

Very soon, the frightened chirping of the birds, the harried flutter of their wings and the resonance of the great smash died out and all of a sudden, it was dead quiet again. Dead… I should not use this word in this description. Death was the last thing that could come to anybody’s mind there. No, it was not a dead silence. It exuded vitality, survival, stoicism, concealment, but there was nothing morbid about it. Even of the sparks of life escaped the eye as if according to some old plan that had been adopted after some painful experience, that silence was throbbing and absolute.

We stepped cautiously inside the great door and waited. Nothing happened. We reached forward to the courtyard and stood watchfully. We could see big entrances to huge halls built all around the courtyard. And I could feel eyes resting on us. I could hear low whispers going around amidst the walls, telling of our presence; spreading the warning to stay awake, reminding visitors of yore.

I stood there in awe at the immensity and powerfulness of the structure. The stony walls wore a russet tint. It seemed as if the hues of autumn had long engulfed all other seasons; past; and present. Everything there stood still in an absolute but a thriving, breathing silence. I looked at my watch unconsciously, just to make sure that time had not stopped there.

I felt a wave of murmurs building up behind me. I wished to dismiss the idea but a sudden violent urge to find out and quieten the noise makers overwhelmed me. Gradually the murmurs grew so loud that I could not take it any more. Surprisingly, I found myself gritting my teeth and then I turned around with a violent jerk that astonished myself.

A hush fell on the surroundings again. And the hall that I suspected to be the centre of the activity stood strangely empty, unmoved, revealing nothing.

Then I did something that I had no control over. The empty hall pulled me like a magnet and I ran towards it with a mind to lose myself in its vastness.

My partner stood unaware still inspecting the building and he looked strangely distant from where I was watching. All of a sudden I was filled with a strange omniscience as if I knew every shred of the cryptic truth that was pulsating within these walls. As if I had become a part of the secret plan… or conspiracy? But the walls still felt stony and cold and a quiet estrangement lurked in the air. I hid myself behind the wall beside the hall entrance and tried to peep out from between the hinges to see how my partner fared.

He stood there with his back towards me and his head lifted up to examine the upper portion of the building. Then he turned around to where he expected me to be standing. I saw him getting surprised at my sudden disappearance and a deep inside, something clutched at my heart begging me to return.

I hid myself even more properly from his eyes and calmly disregarded the faint pledge from within.

My partner looked around to guess my whereabouts and seeing the hall right in the front as the most probable of all, he turned his feet boldly towards my hideout. I started a slow retreat from my hiding place and whispered loudly, “he’s coming.” My whisper hit the walls around and echoed in the room as I hastened my retreating steps to enter the next room trough the door in the middle, before he could spot me.

I hid behind the door and tried to look thorough the narrow space between the hinges. He entered the room and looked around for me. There was some strangeness about him. He not only looked extraneous but also very lofty and imposing. The great, vast hall that had made me just another of its countless atoms, suddenly seemed dwarfed in front of him.

He looked around and called for me,” Asfiya, where are you?” He first stepped towards the door opposite then turned towards my hideout. He walked briskly enough to alarm me. I whispered in panic to my unseen impersonal counterparts, “he’s here, he’s here.”

First, I was moving quickly backwards, then I turned around and started running in fright as he approached. He caught sight of me just disappearing into the next room and called out in surprise, “Asfiya, where are you going? Wait, wait for me.” I ran as fast as I could, trying my best not to let him catch me. And in sheer panic, I kept turning my head to see how far behind was he.

My partner was astonished as he had sensed my being scared of him and he was running after me now. I ran madly through door after door into room after room, calling to nobody, slightly louder than a whisper – as if I were warning myself, “There he comes now, he’s coming, he’s coming.” And I ran as if for my life. And the huge conspiring walls echoed my words from all sides.

He was catching up with me owing to his bold strides. In sheer fright I decided to change my track and this time I ran out of the first door on my left instead of the one straight ahead leading to yet another of the seemingly interminable series of identical halls.

Suddenly I found myself under the open sky. I felt that I had no reason to run. It was almost simultaneously that my partner caught up with me and grabbed me by shoulders to stop me, “Stop Asfiya. What’s wrong?” I stopped.

Why were you running away from me,” he asked. I looked behind him at the overwhelming structure, glanced at all the rooms that I had run through and then looked down. “I don’t know,” I confessed without lifting my head. “I felt as if you were scared of me in there.” He spoke as if complaining. I looked up at him – honest, sure footed, straightforward. Suddenly the building behind him lost its awe inspiring quality. Snap. As if a spell had broken. Now it was nothing but a dull, deserted, old stony structure without any signs of life.

“I really don’t know what happened,” I said to him honestly. “It’s a weird place though. Let’s get out of here.” I shuddered. “Yes, an ugly piece of architecture.” He remarked fearlessly looking around at the building. “Only you wanted to see the old place otherwise we would have been in town by now.” He glanced casually at his watch.

I felt a stupid apprehension of the harshness and honesty of his words arousing a reaction from somewhere. I looked around instinctively, fearing someone must have heard and would be mad about it. But the building stood without a reaction – lifeless, shameless.

“Let’s go. I can see the way to go now.” I said with a smile. “Well, couldn’t you before?” He asked laughing. I kept my eyes low as I moved my head in denial. We walked out of there at a comfortable pace.

-------ends-----